Day after day, as I hear single women bemoan the lack of available men, I wish ethics allowed me to set them up with my wonderful male clients who are searching, with equal frustration, for the right woman. Instead, I end up simply witnessing singles of both sexes failing to find each other. I believe this failure has much to do with the model of love-seeking most popular in our culture: the idea of romantic pursuit as a type of predation, a hunting expedition the goal of which is capture. In my experience, the way of thinking that leads to successful relationships is altogether different. It's focused on the idea that the way to find love is to become so much yourself that you find others of your own kind, with whom you can share freedom.


"Say something like, 'Hey, I read this article on AskMen.com about dirty talk and I was thinking it might be fun to try it. Does that sound appealing to you?' If they say yes, then have a conversation about it. If they say no, ask for more information – is it feeling embarrassed to say things out loud? Is it having no idea what to say or where to start? If it's 'I'm just not into that' then drop it. If it's only a 'no' because they have shame or anxiety around 'doing it right' then that can be an opportunity for dialogue and negotiation."
If you’re a little shy, then you might have to get over it if you’re really gunning for the guy of your dreams. Eye contact is huge. It's a game changer. Letting him gaze into your eyes, even if for a second or two, will let him see that you want to be seen by him. That’s intimacy without taking off your clothes. And sometimes those intimate moments that rest on our emotions and pull on our heart strings are the ones we hold onto the strongest. Eye contact also reveals a lot about your level of confidence. Guys don’t just like the batting of the eyelashes, but also what’s behind them –a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to show it.
I know this may seem like an odd thing to read right now, considering you want to learn how to dirty talk but the thing is, you don’t need to actually say anything dirty in order to turn him on. I know, I know, this whole time you thought you had to say some overly graphic and vulgar things, but you don’t have to. Dirty talking isn’t necessarily about saying vulgar and graphic words, of course, you can say these things, but it’s important to know that you don’t have to. Dirty talking can be as subtle as “I love when you touch me.” It’s soft, it’s sweet, and it’s gentle, yet, it’s a little spicey at the same time.
If you feel like you’ll explode if you don’t profess your love for him, heed this advice.  Tell a friend how you feel. She’ll support you but also help you analyze whether your lovegush will be reciprocated or not. If she doesn’t feel like he’s exhibiting the signs of being in love with you yet, she’ll tell you and you can save yourself from the embarrassment of a one-sided love profession (the worst!).
If the issue is him being around other women, especially if you’ve been cheated on, communicate your feelings of insecurity rather than jumping down his throat about hanging out with an old female friend from high school. Let him know that because of past experiences, it’s not easy for you to not worry about that situation. He’ll reassure you that he’s only got eyes for you, and you have to believe him rather than telling yourself that this will be another guy to hurt you.

To test whether he takes pleasure from crude words, use it the next time you dirty talks and watch his reaction closely. If your man reciprocates and calls you something crude then you know he is not comfortable but enjoys it equally as much as you do. If however he is surprised at what you have just said or doesn’t say anything at all, he may not be as comfortable with it and so I would suggest stop using crude words when talking dirty.
The prostate might be new territory for you, or it might be new territory for you and your guy, or maybe he's been too shy to ask for a finger up his butt, but don't leave the prostate unattended. It's time to show your guy how much pleasure he is missing in his derrière. "A lot of the penis is internal; it almost looks like a boomerang," explains Fleming. With back-door play, "you're massaging these internal nerve endings and that can feel really good." Start by adding a finger when you're both highly aroused. Soon enough, he'll be wondering why he wasn't already experimenting with prostate play. "It's definitely worth testing those waters," says Fleming.
If you’re here for the first time, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam LoDolce, and I have helped thousands of women find true love. I’ve worked as a dating coach for both men and women, and I’ve spoken at dozens of universities, where every single person in the audience walked away with tangible advice they could apply to dating and relationships.
4. Be patient — with yourself and with her. Sex therapists have a saying: "What young men want to do all night takes older men all night to do." Reframe that truism just a bit, however, and you discover a boon to older sex: A perennial complaint of younger women has to do with young men who rush into genital play before the woman feels warmed up and receptive. An older man's slower pace of arousal dovetails nicely with what women prefer, enhancing erotic compatibility. So before either of you reaches for your partner's undercarriage, cuddle and kiss playfully: Use slow, sensual massage to touch each other all over, from scalp to toes. After 30 minutes or so, she's likely to feel sufficiently aroused to enjoy genital play. (And chances are good that you will, too.)
8. ABSOLUTELY: This is the kind of woman I crave. A high-quality woman can influence a man without words. As Bryans writes in Attract the Right Girl: “When a graceful woman enters the room, we simply know. She doesn’t need to say anything or even reveal her presence with words. Her very essence is magnetic. She communicates with her body language in a way that says that she is comfortable with her sexuality, and that she expects to be appreciated and adored. She appreciates the fact that she is the fairer of the sexes, and she lives passionately. . . The graceful woman wants freedom from masculine responsibilities and masculine expectations. She desires freedom to display her emotions as they come to her, and the freedom to express her sexuality in her own unique way with modesty and enthusiasm.
Piss poor advice. As a guy, DONT flirt with other guys in front of him. It wont make him try harder. He will either think youre not interested, shut down because he thought you were but figures youre easy because you give EVERY guy your attention, or he will be smart enough to know youre playing games and het mad and disinterested because you are a manipulative game player.
I would have to write a “War and Peace” sized book:), to express my feelings of admiration, appreciation, inspiration, and overall feeling of being grateful to run across you and Sabrina! I think I actually owe it to myself to put it all into words how I feel (i am not very strong at putting my feelings into words) and what an amazing experience it has been to read you articles every day!!! You almost seemed as unreal, virtual relationship guru, that doesn’t actually exist, lol, yet, you are real, lol, and actually from Boston, I live in Peabody, near Boston.
We've all been there: You're totally exhausted and trying to get it over with or you're simply caught up in what's happening and your body naturally goes fast. But decelerating can be powerful. "Men like being able to feel everything and to have time to explore," says Valentine. "For example, if you're performing oral sex, take him all the way in and out very slowly so he's just barely touching your mouth." Once you're done teasing him you can go full throttle, but in the beginning, a light technique goes a long way.
Oh yeah, like that baby, don’t stop – Whether it is work or sex, everyone loves motivation. So make sure that you motivate your guy by using dirty sentences that make him want more. While sex, keep telling him that he is doing good and you are enjoying sex with him. This is one of those dirty things to say to boyfriend that will arouse him even more. 
Hi Eric, I have situation that you’ve probably dealt with. I was seriously dating /living with the love of my life and we were so inove that we wouldn’t even consider anyone else. We were together for a yr and 5 months when an ex-friend ( homewrecker) began conversing with him in posts on social media. I trusted him, so nenever thought there would be risk. He ended up leaving me for her, moved in with her, and has been playing “step-dad” to her rotten kids. We’ve tried several times to work it out because he says he knows he hurt me, he screwed up and now he loves 2 women and he’s confused and has not been able to choose. He knows she wrecked us but can’t seem to get completely back to me. He even calls her stupid, and says he’s miserable with her. Now, I’m not so stupid as to not know that actions speak louder than words, but I love him and want to put us back together. She will never be the woman that I am and I think part of him feels sorry for her while I do not!! She has always been extremely jealous of me, but I’m in NO way jealous of her. Can you offer any advice? I know this is the condensed version of too many details to list…I wish I could talk to you. I believe there is hope as I know men at 46 go through mid life crises. At 45 myself though, I know what I want…hope to hear your thoughts on this. Thanks…
Remember, some things have not changed in the sex double standard. “With men the more women you sleep with the higher you're placed in society and with women the more men they sleep with the lower they are placed. My point is women are going to be a hell of a lot pickier. You need to be doing everything possible with your life to step your game up and beyond the average Joe. Average Joe isn't getting any action. Especially in our world that is becoming more women-dominated,” says Hawk. Women do not settle for mediocre.
Men perform best in bed when they are confident so to get the best out of your man, it’s time to stop being silent and start vocalizing your pleasure. If you aren't getting pleasure from your man then tell him what you like without damaging his ego. You can do this by moving his hand to where you want it to go and move his hand in the motion you want it to go in. You can also take charge sometimes to show the positions you like to be in.

Please your man in bed by being romantic and you will enjoy a dream partnership. Being romantic is a lovely way to show your man how much you care about him. He will know that you don't just see him as a partner but as a lover as well. You make him feel like a special human being. A lovely romantic gesture you can try is to put roses on the pillows, this conjures up a very special image of romance indeed. It turns an ordinary bedroom into a romantic haven, somewhere you would expect to find in a posh hotel. The look in your eyes will tell him at a glance that you've thought of everything that will give him the wonderful experience that is yet to come. The anticipation will be a very powerful emotion for both of you.

Please your man in bed by being playful because he will enjoy the fun side of your nature. I have a friend called Janet, she is 52 years old and she is still as playful in the bedroom with her partner as she was when they first met in 1992. Her advice for you is to do what she does and be playful in the bedroom. Dressing up is one way to be playful. Acting out roles is another way to be playful. Playing strip poker is another way to be playful. Whatever it is that you decide to do to be playful in the bedroom, make sure you are comfortable doing it. It won't please either of you if you are not comfortable with what you are doing.


Also a final word of warning because this will destroy even the strongest relationship if you’re not careful: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Well, I’ve never made a man fall in love with me, so that’s not a recipe in my cookbook. However, I’ve fallen hard for women before and remember exactly what they did. From those experiences and forays into the scientific literature, I’ve come up with three ways that a man will fall in love with you. Straight out of the dating bible for smart women, here they are:
Ladies…all I can say is if you feel insecure about your looks then make yourself more attractive for YOU! Not for a man. There’s nothing that increases a woman’s feelings of insecurity more than doing something to herself FOR a man, or for the purpose of attracting men. It may make you feel confident and powerful in the short term, but that feeling doesn’t last if your focus is on doing it for him. Your purpose should be feeling better about yourself and increasing your own confidence regardless of men. What men seem to forget is that women are not on this earth solely for their pleasure. How you feel about yourself should be totally independent of what men think.
Talking dirty on the phone is a fantastic way to have some kinky fun with your significant other on the phone or even to move into all-out phone sex with your lover. You may feel a bit silly or intimidated at the thought of talking dirty on the phone, but once you adjust your mindset and let loose, you'll be on your way to making your phone partner helpless with pleasure. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.
Hard to get pisses me off, i dislike it when girls flirt with other guys unless she’s not into me. Things that are written by women, especially topics like this say that guys are more into you if you flirt with other guys, truth is it pushes us away. We prefer up front women or a little hard to get types of women, as long as you show that you like him by flirting with him and only him a little bit should let him know that u like him.
Try this: reverse finger job. Make two tight rings around his penis with your thumb and index finger (like you’re doing the okay hand symbol 👌), stacking them one on top of the other, in the middle of his shaft. Twist the rings in opposite directions moving from middle to the top and base of his shaft at the same time. Cox calls this a “torrid twist” the the typical one-handed uppy-downey handy. Remember to use lube, though!
#16 A tease. Every guy is turned on by a tease. Walk right up to the guy while staring at him, but instead of talking to him, just say ‘excuse me’ and walk right past him with a teasing smile. And as you pass him, stare into his eyes, smile and say ‘thank you’. It’ll boost his ego, and make you irresistible to him! [Read: 16 lusty signs of sexual attraction between a guy and a girl]
Hi. I have a huge crush on this guy I've been sleeping with for the past week. He's a mutual friend and we've planned to hang out before, but just recently did so. He's everything I need and I had no idea he would be in my heart so fast. Problem is, he and I both share the 'I'm single' lifestyle, not necessarily looking for a relationship but not really erasing the idea either. We've expressed that we like each other, and we act like a couple does occasionally, but I can't understand the vibe he gives out. He makes me feel special, calls me beautiful and will even tickle me just so he can see my genuine smile. I want a relationship with him more than anything. I mean he's 24, I'm 23. We both own your own property. We both are unable to have children and are okay with that. We're both cancers and like anime. We have the same hobbies and same concepts while still maintaining individuality. I think we'd be perfect, and I've never been more willing to work on forming the best relationship for us. I was wanting to know, how would I likely be able to make a guy think of me as much as I think of him? How do I show him my feelings without coming off as clingy, desperate, or just lonely? Please help at your latest convenience.

i really liked your page ..im a lady who's been dating guys whom have been taking me for granted but I have this friend of mine who's a guy I often talk with bout everything he understands me well I like him very much n adore him cause he's different ..he feels hurt each time I breaks up with another guy m actually falling for him but he is in a long term relationship ...sometimes he tels m all his problem and even wishes I was the one he was dating but the unfortunate part is he's says he's commited to his lady ...donno wat to do
Hello. How can I arrange a phone consultation with you, Eric? Your straight-forward advice sounds reasonable and sound to me. I am in a 4-month old relationship with my boyfriend. I love him and he says he loves me, but he says he is afraid of hurting me. He confessed that he loves the excitement and euphoria when a relationship is new but gets bored and dissatisfied when the newness wears off. He is afraid that this will happen again and he will hurt me. He said I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him, that I treat him better than any other woman he’s ever been with and that he wants me in his life forever, even if that mean just being friends later. He hasn’t asked me to move in, hasn’t discussed marriage, but says he wants a future a with me. I don’t get this at all. My gut tells me he loves me but not enough. I want a future with him, including the whole ball of wax of marriage, but he says he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me or not, that we should just enjoy each other and live day to day. Sounds like bs to me. But I find it hard to be objective. He has been hurt deeply by past women who have betrayed and used him. I need help figuring this all out. Thank you very much.
You may be worried about what your husband thinks of your post-breast-feeding boobs, your C-section scar, or that at some point, he'll stop being attracted to you because you look a little — OK, a lot—different than you did on your wedding day. But men rarely notice your self-perceived flaws — they only become aware of them if you're preoccupied with them or go out of your way to cover up. "It's true, men are very visual," says relationship expert Bernardo Mendez. "But it's really about wanting to be able to actually see you move, preferably with no clothes on. We're validated by how happy we can make you in bed, and that's what we're focused on—not on how much you may have changed." So allow him see you. All of you.
Please your man in bed by being sensual because sensuality creates an atmosphere all of its own in the bedroom. I have a friend called Patricia, she is a girly girl and loves everything that sparkles and glitters. Her advice to you is that whilst sensuality can enhance things sexually, it can also enhance your relationship in other ways as well. Patricia says feeding each other strawberries dipped in chocolate can be a very sensual thing to try, she also however says that being sensual in your everyday life and enjoying the world around you, is a sure fire way to enhance the sensuality you will both feel in the bedroom whenever you are in each other's arms.
To stand apart from the average, you’ll be required to do something wild, one he won’t stop pondering over the following day. If you are adept in some special technique which is greatly hot and separate, his mind will carry the imprint of the whole erotic experience. You can use the old tweak of shifting within oral sex & intercourse while he is blindfolded. You can also try out your novel mouth action. Like your ex-girlfriend may switch between the flat portion of the tongue and then use the tip over the same place which can impart an entirely new sensation.

That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
Men, like all other animals, are driven by scent. The force that connects men and women starts in the olfactory zone –it’s 100% all about pheromones. Naturally, we are drawn to each other based on these chemicals. The attraction is subtle, but science has proven that pheromones dominate our level of attractiveness in face-to-face situations. It’s scent that is the secret ingredient to our sexual desires. So just sit a little closer and see if he becomes a bit savage by your hormones. Also wear a scent that you know will get his attention. Men have been known to like smells like licorice, vanilla, orange, chocolate, and pumpkin pie have been proven to stimulate men. Find scents that use these notes and be prepared to have him on his knees.
Please your man in bed by taking the initiative because you know it's what he wants. He won't ask you to take the initiative because he won't want you to feel pressured. But deep down he would love it if you would take the initiative. Taking the initiative will show him that you want sex which means he hasn't got to second guess what mood you are in. Taking the initiative will show him that you care for him and want him to enjoy himself. Taking the initiative will show him that you have got a mind of your own and he will love you for this. Your relationship will feel like it's on an equal footing and you will both know where you stand with each other. When one of you suggests in the future something new to try you will both respond with gusto knowing or guessing who is going to take the initiative.
Knowing how to talk dirty to a guy is definitely a useful skill that’ll come in handy when you’re wanting to turn him on. When you know how to dirty talk a guy, you have the power and ability to focus the attention on what matters which is your sexual chemistry. Now, there are levels of dirty talk, but, just like sex, everyone gets turned on to different things. Therefore, your dirty talk may vary between partners.
If the issue is him being around other women, especially if you’ve been cheated on, communicate your feelings of insecurity rather than jumping down his throat about hanging out with an old female friend from high school. Let him know that because of past experiences, it’s not easy for you to not worry about that situation. He’ll reassure you that he’s only got eyes for you, and you have to believe him rather than telling yourself that this will be another guy to hurt you.
Español: hablar sucio por teléfono, Português: Falar Sacanagem no Telefone, Italiano: Parlare in Maniera Spinta al Telefono, Русский: научиться говорить сальности по телефону, Deutsch: Dirty Talk am Telefon, Français: avoir une conversation coquine au téléphone, 中文: 在电话里说下流的话, Bahasa Indonesia: Berbicara Kotor melalui Telepon, Nederlands: Dirty talk aan de telefoon, ไทย: คุยเรื่องวาบหวิวทางโทรศัพท์
Seriously, one of the most attractive things about any human is a level of pure confidence. This can get tricky. The line between confidence and arrogance is often skewed. With a little knowledge, you can apply your own sense of confidence with success. Don’t brag, but talk passionately about your qualities or achievements. Be sure you don’t only talk about yourself either. A good, healthy sense of confidence also lies in wanting to know others. Don’t act like the world revolves around you. The last thing a guy wants is a princess who feels entitled or someone high maintenance. Be proud, but humble. Listen closely and be attentive. Confidence is an attitude that’s best worn with discretion. A little goes a long way, use sparingly, but apply to your best parts.
"I know, it sounds scary and awkward and not at all sexy, but trust me, if you can't talk about talking dirty, then actually talking dirty will be impossibly challenging. The last thing you want to do is to be going along doing your typical sexual interaction and then suddenly throw in 'Spank me, Mommy!' unexpectedly. There's nothing wrong with wanting to say that, but it's nice to give your partner a heads up as to what you're interested in and what turns you on. Make sure they're on board too! Dirty talk is a team sport."
Copying porn because you think he’ll like it: we all know how influential porn is to our sex lives. Most of us have watched porn since our teenage years and have a large understanding of sex because of porn. But porn isn’t sex. Okay, physically, it’s sex, however, it’s not what actually happens between couples on a daily basis. Porn is acting. If you’re watching porn and copying how they dirty talk to each other, well, most people won’t feel comfortable because it’s not natural. Instead, focus on what feels natural to you.
Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears, as Mintz says heavy breathing, groaning, and moaning are all sounds that we make when we're feeling free, and studies have shown that it's erotic for all parties involved to hear. It's also a great way to really express what you want, which is a huge turn-on for men when they know they're doing exactly what you need to have an orgasm.
Likewise, be supportive of what he’s doing. If you know he’s got a job interview this week, send a text beforehand letting him know you’re rooting for him, then check in with him after to see how it went. One of the foundations of a loving relationship is support; when you show your partner that you’re there for him as his biggest cheerleader, he feels great. And when you support him, you’re starting to glom onto how to make a man fall in love with you.
well, i agreed (how could i not, he’s cute ;) ). i wasn’t sure if he’d show up. but he did. he did cook n it was awesome. during the party he asked me not to leave the city. when i told him i had no reason to stay back. he said there may be now. so we saw each other everyday after that. went out . he really took care of me, shared about his family. we really like each other. he even said lotta times he really liked me and that he was sad i was leaving. asked me to stay, coupla times. but i really needed to leave. he even came to see me off. things changed totally after i left. he did not call. when i did, he spoke normally and said he had been caught up. later after a week or two, he did nt show any interest to call. so i stopped calling too. once i called him n asked what was goin on. to my surprise he said we enjoyed together. but he cant do long distance. I’m flabbergasted how can anyone just shut off things just like that. was he pretending all the while?
9. Unfortunately, in the past, when I was emotionally interested in a woman who I know was not right for me, I also felt like a selfish fraud. I wasn’t authentic and felt more a needy boy than a man. Furthermore, even PUAs (Pick Up Artists), even those who promote being an authentic and being respectful guy, acknowledge that he can get a women to do anything as long as her emotions are triggered and her thinking brain distracted, not exactly authentic or respectful.
It's no secret that women have some very specific pleasure points on their body, and hopefully, your guy is no stranger to the clitoris and G-spot. Yet you might be surprised to know that the male body also has particular erogenous zones, or trigger spots, that—when stimulated—will make his orgasms more powerful and your sex life better than ever. "Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on his passion points," says Claire Cavanah, cofounder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and coauthor of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. "Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive him wild." To find out where to touch him to make his toes curl, click through our hot list. (Related: The 4 Simple Things You Need for Amazing Sex) 

1. Start Off Slow. If you’ve never talked dirty to your man before, or it’s been a long time since you were both horny teenagers, start slow, without being extremely explicit. You don’t want to freak him out, or make him think you’re having an affair because your sexual behavior suddenly changes so drastically. Tease him a little. Don’t go all the way to the extreme with your dirty phrases. Say something like, “you are so sexy to me,” and go from there.

If you’ve ever fallen hard for someone in the early stages of crushes and dating, you know the most frustrating — and the greatest — thing about it can be trying to gain their attention and earn their returned love. You want to prove yourself as someone worthy of their time and affection, but it’s never just as easy as casting a magic spell to make it all go well, is it?


Lying about what turns you on: I know you want to please your partner but lying to yourself isn’t the way to do it. If dirty talk doesn’t turn you on then tell your partner that. You can compromise and come to some type of agreement when it comes to things that you sexually like or don’t like. Don’t lie to yourself or your partner, pretending that you like things just to get their approval.

To test the waters to see if he would enjoy dirty talking in bed or before sex, the next time you’re lying in bed together bring up the subject of when you first met and more importantly… when you first had sex. Go into details about how you felt when he first touched your intimate areas and what you thought of him. If this arouses him and makes him want to ‘play’, you know that dirty talking is probably something he will enjoy.
There's no rule book when it comes to sex—as long as it's consensual and you feel comfortable, that's all that matters. But your first time can be nerve-wracking as HELL. How bad does it hurt? Will it be a life-altering experience? How do you know which hole to put it in?!? Here are 13 things I wish I had known before I lost my virginity, wrapped up and tied with a bow for your educational pleasure.
Hi Deborah. I think you should respect his commitment to his long term relationship. His integrity is obviously one of the things you like about him. I think you should ask him if he’ll help you find a nice man like him. Maybe one of his friends might be perfect for you. From day one don’t let them take you for granted. And if your friend is their friend, he’ll be setting them a good example.

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