I’ve been separated for 2 years now and was always trying to read about relationships, and understand what went wrong in my situation. So one after another, and onother so so book purchase lead me finally to your book! I pushed myself and finally started dating again. I’m dating this guy for one month now and your articles are absolutely priceless and of a high value to me! I would even really like to have a session of your advice in person, if it’s possible:), maybe you visit Boston any time soon?:)
Yes, the clitoris is the obvious place to focus your attention. Still, many men do wrong by it. “Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot. “It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.”
Hello. How can I arrange a phone consultation with you, Eric? Your straight-forward advice sounds reasonable and sound to me. I am in a 4-month old relationship with my boyfriend. I love him and he says he loves me, but he says he is afraid of hurting me. He confessed that he loves the excitement and euphoria when a relationship is new but gets bored and dissatisfied when the newness wears off. He is afraid that this will happen again and he will hurt me. He said I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him, that I treat him better than any other woman he’s ever been with and that he wants me in his life forever, even if that mean just being friends later. He hasn’t asked me to move in, hasn’t discussed marriage, but says he wants a future a with me. I don’t get this at all. My gut tells me he loves me but not enough. I want a future with him, including the whole ball of wax of marriage, but he says he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me or not, that we should just enjoy each other and live day to day. Sounds like bs to me. But I find it hard to be objective. He has been hurt deeply by past women who have betrayed and used him. I need help figuring this all out. Thank you very much.
“Dirty talk” is perhaps a misnomer, because bedroom banter doesn’t have to be crude to be a turn-on. “Some people find cursing to be completely un-arousing,” says Neustifter. “The words that turn him on might be tender and loving—that can be just as highly arousing,” Jaiya adds. If you’re not sure which he prefers, try alternating sweet phrases (e.g. “I love it when you kiss me”) with more risqué ones (e.g. “I want your [word for penis] inside me.”), and see what revs him up the most.
Drive him wild: Have your man lie on his stomach and give him a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along his sacrum. "Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm," Michaels says. (Related: 7 Tips for a Better Orgasm)
"Men fantasize about having sex in different places," says Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. While routine sex has its place, he sometimes wants to do something different—and that's good for you too. One day, head to Ikea in search of a faux bear-skin rug (spare him the trip) and get wild in front of your fireplace. Or simply straddle him on the couch while the kids are at a sleepover — just make sure the TV is turned off behind you.
Eric, although I think you might be “spot on” on your theories, I can tell you for a fact that at age 67 I’ve had a lot more experience. Here really is the very bottom line in finding a good relationship, “it has to be cultivated and tended to”. After 40 yrs of marriage, loss due to death, we had to grow up together, we changed as we grew, we had to adjust, we became grown ups, our ideas, needs and desires changed. No matter how hard times are, no matter how much you share in common, or laugh or cry together, the one thing—“the only thing that keeps you together through thick and thin, till death do you part” Is a high regard for the other persons “person”, and a hell of magnetic physical attraction. Easy as that. It takes YEARS for the former to develop—and you can only hope that the latter remains. There is no magic wand. It is hard work that can pay you back with a lifetime of wonderful memories.
Ok, how about another dirty talk example. Your man says, “Wow. That test was really hard.” You respond with, “Not as hard as something else I know” followed by a couple of winks. He’ll be thinking about you the rest of the day, and a little sexual flirtation can be a great way to keep a guy interested. It’s even more powerful when you say something flirtatious and then give him a wink and just walk away.
It turns out men actually get annoyed when women don't say thank you, according to Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, founders of the matchmaking company Project Soulmate. "Even the most confident guy needs a thank you," said Zucher. You don't even have to say it in person — grab his number and text it after he buys you a drink. "Something about seeing it in writing feels better, and it's such an easy way to appreciate somebody."
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