#3 Be you. When it comes to learning how to talk dirty to your man, please don’t make the mistake of trying to act like you like certain things because they like it. No, no, no. You need to be you and when you’re dirty talking your man, if you aren’t vibing with what they’re saying, then don’t go along with it. Make sure you speak your mind because they do not read minds. [Read: How to unfake your life and embrace you]
Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we're really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other's life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That's when the magic is unleashed.
I did find one major irritant in this book. His advice to "ladies" on the subject of declining an offer included the words "Couch the refusal so as to make it clear the lack is in you rather than him". Perhaps the author and I have differing views on consent, but if I don't want to do something it does not necessarily mean there is a lack in me OR my partner - it just means I have no interest in a particular act. One can graciously refuse a gentleman's request without making either party feel "lacking", thankyouverymuch.
There is more than one good news here. To start with, your man is probably unaware/has never experienced levels 2 onwards. And secondly, he needs you to reach that level, unless he is planning to go to the Himalayas and practice the art of self-discovery. What that means is, suddenly, you have a chance to be the goddess he will worship for all eternity, and not just because you chose to be with him.
Get to know (and understand) what he does. This is something that could dramatically increase your chances of winning his love. Take opportunities to get involved in things he does. Ask him whether he needs any help to accomplish a task. If he discovers that you are keenly interested in his plans, he will see that you care for him and that you could be a good partner.
It turns out men actually get annoyed when women don't say thank you, according to Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, founders of the matchmaking company Project Soulmate. "Even the most confident guy needs a thank you," said Zucher. You don't even have to say it in person — grab his number and text it after he buys you a drink. "Something about seeing it in writing feels better, and it's such an easy way to appreciate somebody."
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