Now that you know whether you guy might like dirty talking then it is time to start building up to it. First of all, consider your man’s personality; how comfortable is he when you touch him, how do he react when you try and fool around, is he conservative or does he like trying new things, how does he react when you swear? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. I know my man hates it when I swear so I know saying things like “f**k me” wouldn't go down very well with him.
Psychologist and couple therapist Dr Debra Campbell-Tunks has helped people for over a decade with everything from panic to depression, relationships and parenting problems. Prior to psychology Debra taught yoga and meditation, so mindfulness remains a cornerstone of her work in mental health and couple relationships. Her research has been published in psychological journals in Australia and the USA. Debra and her free eBook for creating better relationships Hot Devotion can be found online at http://www.drdebracampbell.com/
"Here’s what happens: Dirty talk stimulates and engages senses that may be overlooked or under used when in a sexual situation — our imagination, thought and hearing. We are engaged with touch and smell by definition, but dirty talk engages the senses that are not as commonly used or thought to be used when having sex. These are powerful senses and thus make the sexual experience that much more exciting and fulfilling. The areas of the brain engaged are the frontal cortex where the pleasure, judgement and imagination areas of the brain are."
Being open about what you like, even if you're worried about what someone might think, is the best way to connect with each other ~in bed~. Don’t be ashamed that he might think it’s “weird” that you need a vibrator to get off, or if you’ve always wanted to go dutch on a set of bed restraints. "Women are often afraid to get naughty in a relationship, because they don't want to shatter any 'good girlfriend' image he has or they don't want him to think they're weird," explains Brame. "But men want to see that no-holds-barred side of you — they just don't want to offend you by asking for it."
#3 Be you. When it comes to learning how to talk dirty to your man, please don’t make the mistake of trying to act like you like certain things because they like it. No, no, no. You need to be you and when you’re dirty talking your man, if you aren’t vibing with what they’re saying, then don’t go along with it. Make sure you speak your mind because they do not read minds. [Read: How to unfake your life and embrace you]
Meet my friend Michelle — a beautiful, sophisticated and exceptionally intelligent 30-year-old woman in New York City. Men are falling all over her left and right, but not too many of them can go toe-to-toe with her. Every once in a while, though, a keeper comes along. That’s when she gets all excited, instantly loses her bearings and calls me to ask in an endearingly helpless tone: “Ali — how do you make a man fall in love with you?”

Please your man in bed by taking control and he will forever be in your gratitude. Somewhere along the journey of life there seems to be an unwritten rule that the man is the one who should take control in the bedroom. This is definitely not true. In fact there are a lot of men who really enjoy it when their partners take control. They can really enjoy the pleasure of sex when it is not them who has to initiate the moment all of the time. They will love the fact that you are confident enough to take control and will enjoy all that you have to offer them. It might seem a bit daunting at first to be the one taking control in the bedroom but the more you do it the more you will get used to it and the more natural it will become.


That's when it can be helpful for him to hear compliments both in and out of the bedroom. Mintz suggests starting outside the bedroom, when you can have what she calls a "kitchen table sex talk" — AKA a lower-stakes time to discuss things that are bothering you in the bedroom without having to be "in the moment" of, well, having sex. That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. Then, you can boost his confidence.
I want to feel you on top of me – It’s one of the dirty things to say to your man that is guaranteed to get a strong reaction from him. Every guy wants their women to tell them what they dream of doing with their partners. They want women to share their fantasies and share them everything they feel for them. Telling him this phrase will surely blow his mind. He will be surprised to see a new you. Show him your wild side and make him yours forever.
It turns out, research shows that, in reality, women are the ones who make the first move. . . but not the way you might think. According to research revealed in The Man’s Guide to Women by Dr. John Gottman et al., “Whether or not men are interested in a woman is not strongly related to her objective attractiveness but instead to the nonverbal signals she sends out. In fact, when scoring women’s nonverbal behaviors, researchers were able to predict a man’s approach to her with 90 percent accuracy.”
Please your man in bed with kissing him whenever and wherever you are. When you are out and about, make sure you keep giving him loads of kisses so he knows you find him attractive and you can't keep your hands off him. Any kind of closeness is a good thing and the more you find yourselves kissing will give you both the contact you crave for. Being closer together through kissing will give you both the ultimate aim of being closer together in the bedroom. It will please your man immensely to know that the kissing will continue when you are in bed together. Kissing is the one great pleasure a couple can share together on a daily basis. It is the one thing that you can do in private or public that will be such a great turn on for you both.
Always, ask the guy questions about himself. This always lets the guy know that you are interested in him and not just worried about yourself. Every time I speak with a woman who engages me with questions relative to my life, I can tell that she is interested in learning more and for good reason. If the girl looks put together and attractive then she is always worth engaging, I speak more about engaging men here and discuss other tactics for attracting men that most ladies will find beneficial. Attracting men
"Specifically, that we are thinking about having sex with them. This can mentally begin the act of foreplay hours or even days before the actual act may occur. Flirty or dirty talk will heighten our arousal and keep us thinking along a sexual vein. For couples who do not see each other on a regular basis, this can so enhance the desire to have sex with our partner that adds a definite intensity to it."
Now, I’m bit bummed because I can’t seem to find any advice about the opposite situation: what if the guy is showing you more commitment than you can handle? Not in a creepy first-date-“let’s marry and have babies”, but in a solid 3-months-“I care about you and want to see where this is going, and I’d like to move in together and five it a try”. I want that too, just… not for another year or so (it’s actually a LD relationship, I put the details in a recent forum post called “Anxious about playing house”). Any advice? :)
"It doesn't matter what position we're in because all positions have pros and cons (mostly pros!), but when my girlfriend starts to tell me about this fantasy she has where she comes home and finds her best friend giving me a blowjob and then joins in, I have to stop myself from having an orgasm in seconds. She describes every detail and looks me in the eye while she's doing it — it just makes me want to thrust harder or do whatever I have to do to make her come. It took her a long time to add her friend into the fantasy (she used to leave out the person's identity), but I told her men are visual and instead of being intimidated by that, she went with it. And that makes her and the sex even hotter." — Justin R., 29, Raleigh, North Carolina

Blindfold her and tease around her entire body while avoiding her hot spots. “Use the backs of your hands to very SLOWLY caress her legs, back, hips, face and neck. When you pass over her breasts, let your fingertips linger an inch from the surface so that she can feel your warmth hovering above,” says Dr. Jess. Take your time. Get closer to her hot spots (you’ll have to communicate to identify these, as they’re different for every body) and then pull away to rile her into a fit of desire. “Holding out for longer can create a more intense reaction once you finally touch the spots that are craving your hands, lips and tongue,” says Dr. Jess.


"I like it when she straddles my penis as I'm sitting in a chair or on the couch. I can see and touch everything, including her breasts and clit. I know a lot of guys like reverse cowgirl and it's hot to see a girl's ass and everything, but I always feel like it bends my penis to the point where it might break." — Peter C., 31, Asheville, North Carolina
Since we are getting serious here, we are going to work anatomically, versus chronologically. Since these tips are designed to help you get your boyfriend or husband to climax, it is important to understand how each part of your body affects the process. Some of these tips are just pure common sense, but they are all important! Tip #1: Make sure your mouth is moist. Yes, I said it. Moist. There is nothing worse than giving your man pleasure with your mouth and it being as dry as sandpaper. If water just isn't cutting it, try out some flavored lubricant. They don't exactly taste like candy, but it will make your lips and tongue slide with ease. You don't HAVE to go down this route, but if anything, make sure that you cure your cotton mouth beforehand. Tip #2: Drool happens. Actually, it helps. Spit is one of the best natural lubricants. If you are providing oral sex for your man, spit on that sucker! He will not only find it erotic, it will help the process along. There is nothing wrong with a little sloppy oral sex! Tip #3: Use that tongue. Swirl it. Slide it. Use it on all parts of his member. Don't just let it lie there in your mouth - get it moving. The more action that he feels, the higher the chance that he will be begging for you not to stop! Your tongue will be your best friend during oral sex. This is the strongest muscle in your body based on size, so use it to your advantage. When your mouth begins getting tired, use your tongue as a filler so you can catch your breath. He will enjoy it and it will give you a bit of a break.
The most important advice is to say what you'd want to hear, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and be yourself. But since it’s harder to turn awkwardness into sexiness in real life than it is to sext something dumb and say it was a typo, here are a few examples of things your partner might like to hear in bed—and a few things you might want to keep to yourself.
It's believed that men are so consumed by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But that couldn't be further from the truth. "[There are] plenty of men who feel very self-conscious about their weight, or parts of their body, and really are affected by this in the bedroom," says Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection?," "Have I gained too much weight?" and, "Will I be able to please her?"
You may want to actually have a good idea on what you’re talking about before making conclusions about people. One of the things Eric stresses in many of his articles is that a woman needs to be happy with her own life and love herself before she can truly be happy in a relationship. He also points out that if a woman is happy on her own, she will attract love and that it is then up to her to decide if a man is right for her. Kinda sounds like she’s the one in control of her own happiness. How is that sexist? In order to learn, you need to read the entire articles, not just pick out the parts that you can twist into being offensive. However, it’s quite clear that you have some serious anger issues towards men, in which case, how can you possibly expect to be in a happy relationship with one?
Talking dirty is another one of my pre-foreplay tips to use on your man throughout the day, before you are both alone together, as well as during foreplay itself. This is to build the sexual tension and have your man salivating for you. Many people believe that talking dirty involves you using various expletives and bad language on your partner. They believe that the crazier they sound, the better. This, thankfully, isn’t true. It’s much easier than that!
There's no rule book when it comes to sex—as long as it's consensual and you feel comfortable, that's all that matters. But your first time can be nerve-wracking as HELL. How bad does it hurt? Will it be a life-altering experience? How do you know which hole to put it in?!? Here are 13 things I wish I had known before I lost my virginity, wrapped up and tied with a bow for your educational pleasure.
My bf an I have been dating for the past year an a half we don’t live together nor live in the same city, we only really see each other on weekends, it was amazing at first for the first part of the year of being together then all of a sudden he started accusing me of cheating on him with others guys let alone my daughter’s dad that I haven’t been with for 6 plus years, that im using drugs.. so tired of being accused of stupid things I’m ready to start doing them.. do you have any advice?
The most important advice is to say what you'd want to hear, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and be yourself. But since it’s harder to turn awkwardness into sexiness in real life than it is to sext something dumb and say it was a typo, here are a few examples of things your partner might like to hear in bed—and a few things you might want to keep to yourself.
Next step - appeal to the vision. If you are self-conscious about your body and love to switch off the lights, you are depriving your man one of his senses. Guys are simple. Lace and shiny things are appealing. If you have not yet lost all the post-partum weight, choose darker colours. If you are a petite person, use lighter colours. Dress in layers, and undress as you proceed like you have all the time in the world.
This sex position demands female control, so don’t be afraid to take charge. The man, in this case, represents the chair in a manner of speaking. He is sitting with his legs outstretched in front of him, using his hands as support. The woman is on his male partner with her back to him, leaning close to his body. You sit on top of him, attaching your arms on his hips by leaning your head slightly back and slightly moving up and down.
"Here’s what happens: Dirty talk stimulates and engages senses that may be overlooked or under used when in a sexual situation — our imagination, thought and hearing. We are engaged with touch and smell by definition, but dirty talk engages the senses that are not as commonly used or thought to be used when having sex. These are powerful senses and thus make the sexual experience that much more exciting and fulfilling. The areas of the brain engaged are the frontal cortex where the pleasure, judgement and imagination areas of the brain are."
Please your man in bed by teasing him with your sexiness. I have a friend called Wendy, she is a hairdresser and she works in the local village salon. She is a minefield of information because she listens to her customers’ tales whilst she is doing their hair. One of the tips she heard from one of her customers has helped her greatly in the bedroom. That tip was to tease. Teasing your man in the bedroom will bring out in him an animal passion that even he didn't know he had. Let him know you want him by teasing him and Wendy guarantees that he will want you forever more. She says that by teasing him you are letting him know you want to play sexy games, and knowing that you want to play sexy games will be very exciting for him.
Seriously, one of the most attractive things about any human is a level of pure confidence. This can get tricky. The line between confidence and arrogance is often skewed. With a little knowledge, you can apply your own sense of confidence with success. Don’t brag, but talk passionately about your qualities or achievements. Be sure you don’t only talk about yourself either. A good, healthy sense of confidence also lies in wanting to know others. Don’t act like the world revolves around you. The last thing a guy wants is a princess who feels entitled or someone high maintenance. Be proud, but humble. Listen closely and be attentive. Confidence is an attitude that’s best worn with discretion. A little goes a long way, use sparingly, but apply to your best parts.
How do you do this? Energy flows where attention goes, so address your attention to the best part of a man’s character. These are the aspects of him you want to see flourish: strength, courage, compassion, loyalty, generativity. Want for him more than he wants for himself. By consciously directing your energy, you help him along his path of evolution. And if the man you’ve picked is indeed worthy of your attention, he will have no choice but to love you for it.

Please your man in bed by being creative, creativeness will add an extra dimension to your relationship. I have a friend called Denise, she is a really fun person and is always laughing. Her tip for you for pleasing your man in bed is to be creative. She would like you to start being creative by reading some books or by going on line to see what you think you might like to try. She adds that it should be something you feel comfortable with, otherwise you won't enjoy it, and if you don't enjoy it... neither will he. When you are ready to go ahead with your creativeness in the bedroom she's sure your man will be very appreciative of your attempts to try and please him.
If during sex you are making very strange facial expressions or are screaming with pleasure but he hasn't even hardly touched you yet, he is going to know you are faking. If he knows you are faking then you will damage his ego as he may think that you are faking to hide that he can’t pleasure when it isn't true. All you need to do to let him know that what he is doing is pleasuring you is make soft gentle gasps and moans.
Dirty talk should make your blush or feel naughty but it should never offend you which are what crude words can do. If you’re comfortable in using crude words prior or during sex then before you go full force into it, you need to make sure that your man is also comfortable and enjoys using crude words such as “bitch” or “dog” otherwise you could turn him off or completely offend him.

Please your man in bed by slowing down and revel in the warmth that your lovemaking brings. I have a friend called Gemma, she was single for several years before she met Matt. Because she'd been single for a while before she met Matt she thought that she should go all out in the bedroom to please him, she admits she quite often approached sex as though it was a race. When she was settled in the relationship and trusted Matt she stopped racing along in the bedroom with poor Matt on tow. Her advice to you is slow down, you don't have to race to the finish line to enjoy the togetherness that lovemaking brings.

There’s lots of ways to make always-great sex even greater, and there are some specific sex positions that, when explored, can lead to extra excitement. There are various ways to look at what a specifically male pleasure position may mean to you — for starters, though, it should be one that gives greater than average physical pleasure or one that’s especially exciting. From there, the possibilities are endless, but here are some great ways to get started! 

Drive him wild: Many guys are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals. "If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him," Michaels says. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of guys. "To suck on a man's thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what's to come," Michaels suggests.
Positions that tend to allow men full control of penetration (this can mean depth, rhythm, etc.) tend to give men more pleasure. “This typically means that rear-entry positions allow for the most access as he is in control and her body allows deeper penetration in these positions, whether it's doggy style or some other variation,” says Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a licensed marriage and sex therapist and resident sex expert for www.AdamandEve.com. 
Despite what you may think or your past experience — you may never know just how much a man really does want to please you if he is able. In fact, the problems show up when he no longer thinks he can please you. Men are very simple creatures. They demonstrate their value by solving problems and fixing things (and occasionally they may make the mistake of trying to fix you).
"My girlfriend and I like it when she's submissive so the move that always gets me is her laying flat on her belly and me on top of her from behind. It feels more intimate than doggy because I can wrap my hands around her breasts or rub her clit at the same time. I also like being able to cover her body with mine and holding her hands down. It always feels like my penis is as deep inside of her as possible in this position." — Stefan, 31, Hawthorne, New Jersey
We've all been there: You're totally exhausted and trying to get it over with or you're simply caught up in what's happening and your body naturally goes fast. But decelerating can be powerful. "Men like being able to feel everything and to have time to explore," says Valentine. "For example, if you're performing oral sex, take him all the way in and out very slowly so he's just barely touching your mouth." Once you're done teasing him you can go full throttle, but in the beginning, a light technique goes a long way.
"It doesn't matter what position we're in because all positions have pros and cons (mostly pros!), but when my girlfriend starts to tell me about this fantasy she has where she comes home and finds her best friend giving me a blowjob and then joins in, I have to stop myself from having an orgasm in seconds. She describes every detail and looks me in the eye while she's doing it — it just makes me want to thrust harder or do whatever I have to do to make her come. It took her a long time to add her friend into the fantasy (she used to leave out the person's identity), but I told her men are visual and instead of being intimidated by that, she went with it. And that makes her and the sex even hotter." — Justin R., 29, Raleigh, North Carolina
Look your best. That doesn't mean changing yourself to impress another person. Take pride into your appearance to give yourself an aura of confidence that can be highly attractive to someone you want to attract. Make a point to always be well-groomed and clean, from your hair to your teeth. Dress and accessorize to accentuate your finest feature, whether it's your hair or your height.
I remember the first time a girlfriend started talking dirty to me, I was so shocked at first, but in a good way, a very good way! I was shocked mainly because I just wasn’t expecting it as she otherwise usually came across so sweet and innocent, lol! However, I found it a huge turn on, which soon led to a rather raunchy sex session once we were alone together. Ah, fond memories…
There’s lots of ways to make always-great sex even greater, and there are some specific sex positions that, when explored, can lead to extra excitement. There are various ways to look at what a specifically male pleasure position may mean to you — for starters, though, it should be one that gives greater than average physical pleasure or one that’s especially exciting. From there, the possibilities are endless, but here are some great ways to get started! 

Reveal your greatest fantasies. Once you're really excited, share your fantasy with your lover, no matter how dirty it may be. He'll play along and talk about it with you, helping you get more turned on as you picture yourselves enacting the fantasy together. Don't be afraid to put it all out on the phone line -- just close your eyes and start talking.
Since we are getting serious here, we are going to work anatomically, versus chronologically. Since these tips are designed to help you get your boyfriend or husband to climax, it is important to understand how each part of your body affects the process. Some of these tips are just pure common sense, but they are all important! Tip #1: Make sure your mouth is moist. Yes, I said it. Moist. There is nothing worse than giving your man pleasure with your mouth and it being as dry as sandpaper. If water just isn't cutting it, try out some flavored lubricant. They don't exactly taste like candy, but it will make your lips and tongue slide with ease. You don't HAVE to go down this route, but if anything, make sure that you cure your cotton mouth beforehand. Tip #2: Drool happens. Actually, it helps. Spit is one of the best natural lubricants. If you are providing oral sex for your man, spit on that sucker! He will not only find it erotic, it will help the process along. There is nothing wrong with a little sloppy oral sex! Tip #3: Use that tongue. Swirl it. Slide it. Use it on all parts of his member. Don't just let it lie there in your mouth - get it moving. The more action that he feels, the higher the chance that he will be begging for you not to stop! Your tongue will be your best friend during oral sex. This is the strongest muscle in your body based on size, so use it to your advantage. When your mouth begins getting tired, use your tongue as a filler so you can catch your breath. He will enjoy it and it will give you a bit of a break.
Nothing is a bigger turnoff than someone who is dishonest. This does not mean white lies, withholding information for a more appropriate moment, or minor exaggerations –these are all normal parts of human connections and conversations. But falling into the trap of becoming someone or something your not will get you into trouble later. Honesty is the best policy. Not only because you avoid complications, but you allow yourself to be vulnerable. That part of yourself, that innocence, is attractive because it’s authentic. Let him see those parts of you and be as honest as you can be about yourself and your expectations –that way you both are on the same page which is facilitate you getting what you want. Even being candid about what you want can be a big turn-on.
Please your man in bed by mixing things up and he will never be bored. I have a friend called Leslie, she is 29 years old and she likes to go to the cinema with her boyfriend. She's got a vivid imagination and she reckons her and her boyfriend have a great time in bed together. They are always trying new things in the bedroom and she says she thinks this is why their relationship is so strong. Her advice to you is to try mixing things up in the bedroom so that your man is always on his toes, waiting for you to create another exciting encounter with him. Make it Impossible for him to be bored in the bedroom and enjoy a strong relationship just like she does.
Making eye contact makes a difference. But so does looking away. This is a technique that’s tried and true. It’s one that’s lasted for generations and one that will continue to flourish in the future. Coy looks dominate the flirtatious game. First, look at him, slightly intensely, even from the corner of your eye for this method is the real winner. Wait until he catches your glance. Hold the eye contact for no more than three seconds, then look away slowly. To make an impact, took another glance in under thirty seconds. Don’t worry, if he’s not looking, he’ll sense your eyes on him again. That first coy look already got his attention and he’s waiting to see if you’ll look again. Now go in for the kill because he’s gone from predator to prey.
It's believed that men are so consumed by libido that they have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But that couldn't be further from the truth. "[There are] plenty of men who feel very self-conscious about their weight, or parts of their body, and really are affected by this in the bedroom," says Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection?," "Have I gained too much weight?" and, "Will I be able to please her?"
Before you dive straight into it and start writing down all the naughty things you want to say to your man, try and find out whether this is actually something that would arouse him. Not all men are the same and so some will like dirty talking and some will cringe and could possibly even turn them off. Don’t let this scare you though and put you off; you just need to test the waters a little before diving right in.

Don’t just think about handjobs as a lame substitute for intercourse — your hands are the best sex tools ever invented and can give him sensations unavailable in any other sex act. Skilled handjobs are also the key to learning how to extend his pleasure so he can last longer in bed, as you create peaks and valleys of arousal and keep him suspended in pleasure.
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting in energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy.

4. Be Yourself. Don’t say something to him that you don’t actually feel or you would never actually say. He will sense the inauthenticity and be turned off. When you talk dirty to him you should be having fun too! What you say should be a natural expression of your most free, and confident sexual self. If you don’t feel comfortable saying, “I want to fuck you so hard,” don’t say it. Maybe saying something like, “Your big biceps make me want to take off your shirt and blindfold you with it.” That Might be more your style. Just go with what feels natural, and comfortable. You might also start off with a phrase that is more timid and build his and your confidence to talk dirty over time. What feels comfortable today may change as you become more accustomed to talking dirty.
Please your man in bed by making him feel desirable because feeling desired will give him a brilliant feeling of wellbeing. He will feel wonderfully happy and content, the atmosphere in the bedroom will be supercharged with passion. He will feel that you give him a lot of love and affection because you find him so desirable. By him having the knowledge that he is desirable to you will give him the boost he needs to be able to make love to you in a loving and sensual way. You will both benefit from your experience in bed together because you will have created a very intimate partnership. Make him feel desirable by telling him how handsome he is, or how strong his muscles look. Make him feel desirable by telling him what a good kisser he is.
You’re both 18 so you’re not really into the ‘adult’ stage of relationships that comes after being burned a few times and having your hearts broken. To be honest, you might be on the brink of your first big disappointment. But that’s okay, we all go through being broken hearted and live to face another day ... and fall in love again. So here’s what I think.

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