Sounds great...but what should you say that won't seem ridiculous? (Unless you're a porn star, "Do me hard, bad boy!" probably doesn't roll off the tongue.) "Most women aren't sure what sounds sexy, so they don't say anything," says Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist in New York City. As a result, you're missing out on pleasure — which is so not right.
Sometimes the relationship started out well and then over time disintegrated into something that resembles resentment and abuse rather than love or respect.  Sometimes the relationship was never good to begin with, but the woman wants me to show her “relationship magic” to “make it work.”  This is what I equate to trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. (If this situation sounds familiar to you, be sure to read this article on Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.)
Men can detect that the office interaction is a little sour or frigid. How to become great, gorgeous and sweet, and use flirting, charisma and creating the setting, so that men might make passes at you at least once a day and have suitors in the office occasionally walking around you. Take care of your body with good nutrition, hygiene and exercise; why not? Use a beautician and fashion stylist to optimize your looks.

It’s easy to fall into a rut, but there’s nothing like spontaneity to keep things fresh in a hookup. You may also want to do something unexpected, like initiating a new position or trying a passion prop. "My girlfriend and I were out shopping when she suggested we check out this sex-toy shop," Nick, 27, says. "We ended up buying this thing called a penis sleeve, which is basically a thick, bumpy condom. Not only was it fun to use, but I loved how eager she was to try it."
"I know, it sounds scary and awkward and not at all sexy, but trust me, if you can't talk about talking dirty, then actually talking dirty will be impossibly challenging. The last thing you want to do is to be going along doing your typical sexual interaction and then suddenly throw in 'Spank me, Mommy!' unexpectedly. There's nothing wrong with wanting to say that, but it's nice to give your partner a heads up as to what you're interested in and what turns you on. Make sure they're on board too! Dirty talk is a team sport."
"Doggy, all the way. I'm an ass man so, for me, there's nothing better than watching her ass come straight at me. My current girlfriend isn't into anal sex, which is fine, but doggy makes me feel like we're having anal, but better: there's no chance I'll wind up with an strange 'surprise' on my penis when we're finished." — Brian S., 27, Richmond, Virginia
Freud once called female sexuality "the dark continent," and if that's true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet. Because when it comes to sex, men are far from simple. (As much as they may try to convince us otherwise.) The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can (and should) be delivered in reality. That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed.

How often do you feel that your partner is no more interested in you? Does he ignore you and takes you for granted? Well, if that’s the case with you then you really need to do something about it and learning some dirty sex talk may do the trick. We all know that every relationship fades with time and becomes frustrating and traumatizing. We feel restricted, bored, and lacks interest in each other. But that situation can be easily avoided if you are willing to put little efforts in your relationship to bring back the romance and charisma. Now you must be thinking what should you do to get the attention of the guy you love.


For those of you in a long term relationship, know that this is an imperative skill to have to keep sexual tension and keep sex interesting. We often take our partner’s sexual desires (or even our own) for granted. By talking dirty, you unleash the sexual and sensual conversation. It starts with words you speak, and carries into your physical actions. If you find your partner is struggling to stay aroused once you get sex started or just doesn’t show any interest in having sex to begin with, these naughty phrases will wake up a part of their brains that has lain dormant.
I’ve been separated for 2 years now and was always trying to read about relationships, and understand what went wrong in my situation. So one after another, and onother so so book purchase lead me finally to your book! I pushed myself and finally started dating again. I’m dating this guy for one month now and your articles are absolutely priceless and of a high value to me! I would even really like to have a session of your advice in person, if it’s possible:), maybe you visit Boston any time soon?:)
If you've had a woman say something filthy during sex, you've probably noticed that it made whatever it was that you were doing feel even better. But why is that? According to Dr. John Mayer, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist at Doctor On Demand, there's science behind why talking dirty feels good. "It taps into one of my favorite parts of the brain and psychology, our perceptual system," he explains.
Most of the time it’s not actually what you say that turns a man on, it’s how you say it. Whatever dirty thing you have on your mind that you want to tell your man, make sure you breathlessly whisper it in his ear. Dirty talk will only become dirty talk if you are confident in what you are saying and have a seductive manner. You can practice dirty talking in the mirror before trying it on your man to make sure your body language and voice all suggest you are ready to be seduced or you are ready to seduce him.
I was wondering. I have a friend that says he don’t ever want to be an a relationship ever again because of the pain that he has experienced in the past from passed relationships but yet he wants me to open up to him which I did and he wants me to continue to open up to him. Why would a man want you to open up to them if they don’t plan on having a future with you.

I want to give you the best Oral SEX, you’ve ever had – You wanted some dirty things to tell your boyfriend? Well, this is it. It is undoubtedly the thing that all men want to hear from you. Guys love oral sex and if you are good at it, then there is nothing else you need to drive him crazy. Just give him a good oral sex and he will devote himself to you no matter what. Try it and don’t forget to thank us later.

Couples so often get into a sex routine — same time of night, same place, same position. And while your husband may not make an active move to change things, men want to have the power to switch up patterns and take total control, says Haltzman. Get out one of his silk ties, have him bind your hands together, and let him take it from there. We suspect you won't regret it.


Please your man in bed by taking control and he will forever be in your gratitude. Somewhere along the journey of life there seems to be an unwritten rule that the man is the one who should take control in the bedroom. This is definitely not true. In fact there are a lot of men who really enjoy it when their partners take control. They can really enjoy the pleasure of sex when it is not them who has to initiate the moment all of the time. They will love the fact that you are confident enough to take control and will enjoy all that you have to offer them. It might seem a bit daunting at first to be the one taking control in the bedroom but the more you do it the more you will get used to it and the more natural it will become.
I was staggered by my first encounter with an uncircumcised penis. All the parts I knew what to do with were hiding from me. Turns out it’s not that hard. You just tug the skin back a little and you’re good to go. Circumcised penises are actually a little more complex. Not every man is cut the same way, and if your guy doesn’t have enough of his foreskin left to move around, you’ll have to use lube when stroking him to replace the natural lubricant the foreskin provides.
Freud once called female sexuality "the dark continent," and if that's true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet. Because when it comes to sex, men are far from simple. (As much as they may try to convince us otherwise.) The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, so what you see on TV is typically far from what can (and should) be delivered in reality. That's why sex experts chimed in with more accurate insight about what guys really want you to know when the two of you climb into bed.
Another misunderstanding that trips up many women when figuring out how to pleasure your man is thinking that all men are the same. Both you and I know that everyone is different. We all have different kinks, fantasies and peculiarities. Some guys love nothing more than to eat your ass for hours, while others would wretch at the thought. So if you previously got great results with a certain hand job technique, don’t expect it to work equally well on your new man.

I list this signal with some reluctance, and you can probably guess why. I would never advise a grown woman to twirl her hair to get a guy’s attention. It seems equivalent to the oh-so-ridiculous “bend and snap” from Legally Blonde. That being said, women do like to touch their hair. It gives us a rush of oxytocin and, according to research, we do it when we want men to approach us. Furthermore, according to research, men pick up on this and respond accordingly. So, yeah, obviously don’t start twirling your hair in an inauthentic come hither fashion. But if you do find yourself rearranging a curl or sweeping your hair from one shoulder to the other, roll with it.


This is by far the best article I’ve ever read in my entire life about relationships and how to understand a man. This article would definitely help my BFF understand this as she is the clingiest, neediest & most insecure person ever & fails relationship after relationship. The only thing she says is: “I’m a good person why I can’t get a good man for myself?”. She praises herself endlessly but, when She finally lands a guy, she’s suffocated them so much that they end up leaving her. And believe it or not, as a friend, that’s really hard to watch when u see your BFF being dumped especially when she asks why… That’s when this article comes in. This article should have her name on it.
I enjoy reading your articles. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year. We dated before 6 years ago and the reason we stopped dating is because he said I was pushing for something he wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize I was pushing. He’s saying now like he said before, he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, he’s too busy. But yet he’s still interested. He has said things to me like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and there’s nothing I can do about”, “We are more than just friends”, and then he pulls away again. It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride with him. He lives an hour away, we only text once a week or so, and only see each other every 2 or 3 months. We get frustrated with each and have arguments but still want to see each other so there’s something there. We are both Scorpios so I’ve been reading articles about 2 Scorpios being in a relationship and reading your articles. I’ve tried very hard not to seem “pushy” and realize the relationship is what it currently is. But how long do I have to wait for him to want to see me more? What should I say to him?

The nice thing about this guide is that it understands the secret to talking dirty is to have confidence. So it gives advice that is, for the most part, centered around building up your confidence in order to talk dirty. It provides you with tons of ideas and tips on how to do it better for once you have acquired the confidence to do it in the first place.
Soothing strokes. Ask a family member if there was a type of touch that used to soothe your man when he was growing up. Or better yet, do your own "research" and find what works by trial and error. Some men love having their arms lightly stroked; others crave a woman who plays with their hair or rubs their scalp. This type of touch will already be downloaded in his system as soothing and may be one of the keys to connection for him.
The goal of talking dirty is to enhance the pleasure for both of you, so relax, be real, and leave it for another time if it feels contrived or you’re self-conscious in the moment. Moans of appreciation can be good to hear, but screaming isn’t so great. And remember, you don’t have to use any words you wouldn’t normally use to infuse a shot of passion and excitement during sex.
You and him have been together for a while now, the two of you are in love, talking about a bright future together, but something is bothering you a little bit. He’s been tired lately and it seems it’s been ages since you last had sex. Real sex, I mean, like you had with your ex you’re starting to dream of again. Not that you miss him, it’s just that with him everything was an excuse for sex : from going to the movies, to driving at night …
Drive him wild: Many guys are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals. "If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him," Michaels says. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of guys. "To suck on a man's thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what's to come," Michaels suggests.

Unrequited love can be frustrating and stressful. Most people have experienced this feeling at some time. If you have encountered a guy that you envision being with but are not sure if he feels the same way about you, it can keep you up all night feeling lovelorn and lost. Take matters into your own hands to become the recipient of the affections of your number one guy.


#8 You can start by texting. Texting is usually the easiest way to get into dirty talking if you’re not used to doing it. Plus, you have more time to think about what you want to say and reply back to them, so, overall, it’s a less stressful situation. And, you can test the waters by doing it via text. Make a comment about having a shower, or how you can’t stop thinking about them. Curving into the dirty talk from there. [Read: How to learn to send your boyfriend steamy texts]

Eye contact is the most powerful of all the signals. It is the universal sign to any man that you have noticed him and are possibly (there are a few accompanying signals that will be looked to for further evidence) open to an introduction. Healthy (read: non-predatory) men will interpret the cold shoulder or avoidance as a sign you are not interested and therefore will not approach. Like it or not, this is a fact.


#1 Figure out his fantasies. Most guys, just like women, have fantasies they’d love to try in the bedroom. You can usually just ask your man what he thinks about, but some guys can be sensitive about it. Meaning, you may have to weasel your way into his fantasies by trying things and seeing what he likes best. [Read: The black book of top male fantasies]


Please your man in bed by teasing him with your sexiness. I have a friend called Wendy, she is a hairdresser and she works in the local village salon. She is a minefield of information because she listens to her customers’ tales whilst she is doing their hair. One of the tips she heard from one of her customers has helped her greatly in the bedroom. That tip was to tease. Teasing your man in the bedroom will bring out in him an animal passion that even he didn't know he had. Let him know you want him by teasing him and Wendy guarantees that he will want you forever more. She says that by teasing him you are letting him know you want to play sexy games, and knowing that you want to play sexy games will be very exciting for him.

#8 Accidental grazes. If a guy grazes your boobs or your butt accidentally, he can’t help but recollect the moment and get turned on by it. If you want to seduce a guy, make sure he *accidentally* gets to brush past your body now and then, be it while hugging him, while standing in an elevator, or even while pointing out something to him. [Read: 20 sexy questions to ask a guy and seduce him]
And no, it doesn’t take away from the sexiness of your dirty talk if you check in with them. It’s a sign of respect. It’s the same well-spring of respect that makes you think to ask your partner if their penis/clitoris prefers softer or firmer stimulation. It doesn’t ruin the mood to check in… it enhances the feelings of safety, comfort, and connection.
Try it out IRL: First off, have a conversation about boundaries and safe sex. Trying something kinky doesn’t mean springing blindfolds on someone out of the blue without any warning! Overstreet suggests asking him what he considers taboo when it comes to sex and communicating that you’re open to talking or trying out new desires you both have in the area.
Touch yourself -- and describe how it feels. You can do this at any point while you're talking dirty. But the earlier you do it, the more turned on you'll be. Start gently stroking your own body and let your lover know what you're doing. Then, ask him or her to touch his or her own body and be detailed about what you want him to do. Just like real foreplay, you don't have to touch yourselves anywhere too untoward -- just start with a light touch that turns you on.
Yes, the clitoris is the obvious place to focus your attention. Still, many men do wrong by it. “Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot. “It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.”
Masturbate. If you just want to talk dirty just for fun or practice, then you can get off the phone and get off on your own. But if you really want to commit to talking dirty, then you and your lover should touch yourselves until you orgasm. If you want to keep things hot and heavy, you can announce your orgasm, and tell your lover that you're about to come. This will build anticipation and will turn both of you on even more. Once you've both orgasmed, you can say goodbye and look forward to your next dirty talk date.
The goal of talking dirty is to enhance the pleasure for both of you, so relax, be real, and leave it for another time if it feels contrived or you’re self-conscious in the moment. Moans of appreciation can be good to hear, but screaming isn’t so great. And remember, you don’t have to use any words you wouldn’t normally use to infuse a shot of passion and excitement during sex.
What Real Women Say: "I was seeing my now boyfriend for a few months, and we already had sex a decent amount of times," says Lisa, 25. "One night when we were starting to fool around he stopped in the middle of it and whispered, 'What's off limits?' It was really intimate and made me feel comfortable being open with him about what I liked and what I didn't. As far as dirty talk specifically, I don't like the name calling that goes on in porn so I told him that, so he's stayed away from that which I think helped me be more open to it."
For those of you in a long term relationship, know that this is an imperative skill to have to keep sexual tension and keep sex interesting. We often take our partner’s sexual desires (or even our own) for granted. By talking dirty, you unleash the sexual and sensual conversation. It starts with words you speak, and carries into your physical actions. If you find your partner is struggling to stay aroused once you get sex started or just doesn’t show any interest in having sex to begin with, these naughty phrases will wake up a part of their brains that has lain dormant.
I am feeling so horny right now – If you’re looking out for ways to intensify your sex life, then trust me you need to show a little passion and lust. Wear your favorite piece of lingerie, learn some dirty things to whisper in his ear, and tell him you are feeling horny tonight. Trust me, doing so will make him lose all his control and you both will enjoy rocking sex.
Take off your clothes -- and talk about it. Don't just start stripping -- let your lover in on the peep show, button by button. If you're taking off your shirt, let him know that it's sliding over your head. If you're taking off your belt, let your lady know that you're dropping your belt to the floor. Paint a picture of your body that will turn on your lover even more.

He was supposed to buy his ticket to visit, and he had not. When I got home he called me. When I asked if he was still visiting, he said he wanted more, he did not know me as well as he would like, the calls were not building the relationship for him and seeing each other once a month would not be enough. That day and that day only during our calls, I said I knew the two months would be hard, that we still should get to know each other, that it thought we were falling, and that I while not there, I could have seen him as my husband (not yet, but could see it). I felt confused as he had been leading, initiating most calls, was the one saying love you, and asking to talk. He said that I was great emotionally and verbally and he did value me. I finally said, I want you to have what you want and wish you the best.
Where do I go to meet the best men? Why do the guys I like so much just stop calling and how do I get the guy I like to get to the next level? These are questions that so many women find themselves asking and it can be so tough to find the right guy! How To Get The Guy from coach Matthew Hussey is the secret to getting immediate results in your love life. Our dating tips are designed specifically for women, with knowledge drawn from working with men seeking love themselves. We know how men work, their thoughts, their feelings and what makes them tick and I know how to hook them in for good. So check out our 10 amazing videos with the best relationship tips for women.
"My girlfriend and I like it when she's submissive so the move that always gets me is her laying flat on her belly and me on top of her from behind. It feels more intimate than doggy because I can wrap my hands around her breasts or rub her clit at the same time. I also like being able to cover her body with mine and holding her hands down. It always feels like my penis is as deep inside of her as possible in this position." — Stefan, 31, Hawthorne, New Jersey
This takes a certain level of trust, so a few questions to ask yourself before throwing it out there: How well do you know this guy? Is he the sort of person who’s going to be baffled by too many options? Can you confirm just how far “whatever you want” might go? Are you cool with that? If he checks all the good boxes, let the show go on. Just proceed with caution, and know that firm directions (like: “I want you to do X to Y”) are a solid backup.
It doesn’t even have to be a risqué moment that you can bring up, it could be the first time you even done it and how you felt when he first touched you or when you first seen every inch of him… literally. While this is dirty talk, it can also have many benefits to your relationship such as bring you closer together and keeping the excitement and interest in the relationship.
Hi Deborah. I think you should respect his commitment to his long term relationship. His integrity is obviously one of the things you like about him. I think you should ask him if he’ll help you find a nice man like him. Maybe one of his friends might be perfect for you. From day one don’t let them take you for granted. And if your friend is their friend, he’ll be setting them a good example.

Affiliate Disclosure: There are links on this site that can be defined as affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you purchase something when clicking on the links that take you through to a different website. By clicking on the links, you are in no way obligated to buy.

Copyright © sexualobserver.com
Please Note: The material on this site is provided for informational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult your physician before beginning any diet or exercise program.

×